Has it really been since April 27th since I’ve last posted a blog? I can’t begin to believe it. Time has felt so altered in the last month that nothing seems to make sense. So much has happened and yet so little has. And today I woke up and felt that it was time for a change. Time to keep up with my blog again, time to start praying more, time to remember what my purpose is, time to grow, time to exercise more, time to learn, but most importantly time to remember what is really important.
The last week of school was a blur. I spent the majority of my time studying, and when I wasn’t, I was trying to sickle every last moment and memory that I could with Nate before he left to Pittsburgh for the summer, and thus begins a long term, long distance relationship. Besides getting an Ipad that week (finally) there wasn’t much else to account for. Which is all right. Classes were finally done, and I could breath again. I could go to sleep and wake up without that feeling that there was so much still to do. I could see friends and my family and not stress about what was due the next day. When I finally took that last final, I can’t begin to describe how that uplifted feeling of weightlessness felt after feeling grounded for so long. I can only pray that it doesn’t have to ever happen again.
After finals, it remained a fast blur of days. Caps, gowns, goodbyes, packing, driving, my sister’s prom. How did it all fly by so quickly? Fortunately I was not on the stage for graduation quite yet, (there’s no way I could ever be ready for the real world yet), but I was there as a loyal girlfriend and friend supporting all the accomplishments of those that I have grown to love these past four years. What is life at Ball State going to be without them? I can’t even comprehend it…
And Nate, I was so proud of him. Did you know he was 1 of 10 students to graduate after 4 years of college with a 4.0? I can’t even fathom that. Simply incredible. I can’t even begin to express how happy I was for him, even as much as he tried to downplay it.
After graduation, he came back to Avon for a few days and it was simply marvelous. He finally met my sister and brother and it was so nice to have him in my home. To be able to share this part of my life with him. I feel even closer now to him than I ever have. Once he had left, I began my summer routine of helping my parents paint the house, restain the deck, cook dinner, etc… I told myself I’d have one week off before I began to study for the mcat. My parents told me that they’d pay me to be their “housekeeper” for the summer. I’m so blessed. I don’t have to drive anywhere, I get to make my own schedule, and it helps them out a ton because my sister’s impending graduation open house is coming up and our house would be no where near ready if I was working another job.
After that first week, I took off to Pittsburgh to surprise Nate for his 22nd birthday. It was so great seeing the look on his face when I called him and told him to come outside. Priceless and wonderful, and I’m glad I was able to celebrate his birthday with him and see his friends and family again.
Finally back home, I’ve been back to work on the house and have started the grueling task of studying for the mcat. Although I loved the time I had away from studying, I love going back to it too. However it’s hard to figure out how to divide my time in the day. Which brings me back to my opening. Time. Ideally I want to have a routine, it doesn’t have to be strict, but some routine that can fulfill everything I want to do in the day. Like daily mass, and prayer, and working out, and cooking/cleaning for my mom, and studying, and getting 8hrs of sleep, and still having time to enjoy myself in the evenings with friends or my family. Is that to much to ask for? I hope not. I feel like time has already slipped by this summer and I’ve had little purpose to my days. I think this is mostly because while I have said small prayers, I haven’t felt close to God since I’ve been home, hence the need for daily mass or going to chapel to pray. How wonderful would it be to start my days off at church, then to come home and start my day? I need to find a way to wake up sooner though…
I sometimes feel like I have two lives. My life at home. And my life at school. It’s sometimes almost scary how different it feels when I’m in one vs the other. Like how differently my time is spent, how different my friends are, and where my priorities are. Not that I feel like a hypocrite because I am different in both, but I do feel like the environment changes so much of who I am. It’s an interesting feeling to have.
On another topic, my dad and I have been home a lot together during the days as we both work on the house to get it ready. I’ve repainted most of the rooms and he’s been working on finishing the wood floors and trim. It looks so great. And while we’ve been home we’ve had some great conversations, particularly pertaining to Haiti. I can’t wait to go with him. While it seems so far away, it’s going to be here in no time so a lot of planning must be started pronto. My goal this week is to get in touch with Father Andre and Father Jose. And Getro. It seems so long since I’ve talked to him. I miss my little dose of Haiti that he sends.
Anyways, this post was a lot of rambling and incoherent thoughts but I’ll try to clean it up for my next one. And for whoever is reading this, I hope you are having a wonderful summer, staying safe from storms, and remembering the Lord.